Elizaveta Yankelovich

**note**

Don’t be sad that you didn’t think of this idea first, it’s not about that, you can totally own this trend, make it happen in your life. Cause let’s face it you need this, we need this, the universe needs this.

Why Food on Your Face is a Magnificent Idea.

1-The obvious first reason … Food on your face = immediate snacking fulfillment. Hungry? Hell swipe something off your face and pop it in your mouth. Yum. Right?

2- Sometimes you want to have a close friendly encounter with a wolf, bear, llama or _____ (fill in cute cuddly animal of your choice) … Well now easy peeeesy food on your face = instant animal attraction …

3- Art Inspired? Dudes the options are endless here… press your food laden face on anything… mirrors, trucks, trains, streetcars, garage doors, cement poles… whatever do it… make art with your face.

4- Have you ever felt violent? Like someone just pissed you off because they shoved a pregnant woman to get the last empty seat on the bus? well shit. Just take some food off your face and shove it in their eye. Pick something that stings for extra asshole effect.

5-This is for the chiquitas. Fuck Make up. Slap some club sammies and jelly on your face and you are good to go.

6- This is for the Mamacitas. You will ALWAYS have a snack for your kids. ALWAYS.

7-This is the last most ultimate reason why food on your face is the best idea EVER. Wearing food on your face is RAD. It’s Fucking AMAZING. Your life would be a 1 000 000 times better. DO it. Take pictures, roll down hills with it, run through fields with it, go bowling with it, steal ice cream from jerks with it, make out in barns with it….

Your welcome. xo

If I was invisible I’d molest everybody and everything… I’d have an amazing invisible side kick that was half penguin with a sexy wolf head…and we’d stroll down streets together and pee on mailboxes… but it would be pee with sparkles that smelled like grape bubble gum and if it sprayed on anybody it would bring them good luck, happiness and true love forever…then we would visit the local prison and get gang banged while getting painful prison tattoos on our faces… then we’d go to the nearest mini golf putt putt and hide dirty magical underwear in all the putt putt holes…then we’d go to a botanical garden and steal all the rare flowers and stick them in our eyes and then run and crash into glass walls and split our heads open and then rush to the nearest hospital emergency room and demand to get stitches made from spiderwebs and then we’d loiter in the emerg and tickle drunk bloody hobos and deliver some babies and glue googley eyes all over their bodies…. then we’d go to the 7-11 and steal their slushy machine and fly back home to our cave made of cardboard and sheppards pie and sit around a stew and pour the slushies all over our bodies…and then eat raindrops… and skewer sweet and sour chicken balls and make them into necklaces and then we’d hogtie both our bodies together with braided licorice and leather and go to sleep and dream of breastfeeding ninjas saving the universe in sexy lingerie. The end. xo.