Posts Tagged ‘slushy machine’
If I was Invisible…
If I was invisible I’d molest everybody and everything… I’d have an amazing invisible side kick that was half penguin with a sexy wolf head…and we’d stroll down streets together and pee on mailboxes… but it would be pee with sparkles that smelled like grape bubble gum and if it sprayed on anybody it would bring them good luck, happiness and true love forever…then we would visit the local prison and get gang banged while getting painful prison tattoos on our faces… then we’d go to the nearest mini golf putt putt and hide dirty magical underwear in all the putt putt holes…then we’d go to a botanical garden and steal all the rare flowers and stick them in our eyes and then run and crash into glass walls and split our heads open and then rush to the nearest hospital emergency room and demand to get stitches made from spiderwebs and then we’d loiter in the emerg and tickle drunk bloody hobos and deliver some babies and glue googley eyes all over their bodies…. then we’d go to the 7-11 and steal their slushy machine and fly back home to our cave made of cardboard and sheppards pie and sit around a stew and pour the slushies all over our bodies…and then eat raindrops… and skewer sweet and sour chicken balls and make them into necklaces and then we’d hogtie both our bodies together with braided licorice and leather and go to sleep and dream of breastfeeding ninjas saving the universe in sexy lingerie. The end. xo.
Bucket of Kittens List
Bucket List: A list of things to do before you die.
Bucket of Kittens List: A list of things to do any day, time, place, space, in your head, on a mountain, in your bed, with a toad, on the road, avec un meatball, wearing a sweatband…before you die…after you die….you get the picture….. xo
MY Bucket of Kittens List
Glue tomatoes all over my body…
Try a double Vodka and Rain in a tall glass…
I want the park to be my lover…
Put a slushy machine by my bed…
Learn how to turn my arm into my favorite food (bacon today) eat it, and then make my arm grow back again…
Lick the sky…
Have Thunder Babies… lots and lots of them….
Learn how to speak Giraffe, French and brush up on my Russian…
I want to know what it would taste like to french kiss a butterfly…
I want to live in a giant bag of potato chips…
I want to know what Cute tastes like….. i.e. cute baby… cute puppy…
Learn how to blow really large hearts out of my mouth …
Invent animal shaped bread… like a large elephant shaped loaf….
Invent hugging donuts………
Tattoo hearts all over my body….
xo
