Elizaveta Yankelovich

Wouldn’t life be so much better if everything we said was turned into a song…. like when I said to someone recently your chair is so comfortable… and they said …oh it’s the bum cushion… and then I sang bum cushion bum cushion bum cushion…. I dunno it just felt good….

*Sometimes I just wanna shove my face into Purple and get all purpley…

*I think every office should have a bob for apples pail set up by the water tank…. nothing big or fancy since it would have to be emptied and replenished for sanitary purposes… maybe you can get a fresh water filter… not infiltrator… filter… and why just limit oneself to apples … you can do snickers bars… pears… kumquats…

*I’d only consider getting an iPhone if :

a) It was completely indestructible … and i mean it… like if The Hulk was sleeping over and he rolled over on it and thought it was an attacking villainous  monster trying to kill us and he went all hulk on it and tried to destroy it with his big green amazing strength… I want that iPhone to stay alive.

b) If  it could do my laundry and dishes everyday.

c) If it would make out with me no matter what…. even if there was a fireball storm and it was half way across the universe and flying dragons were trying to stop it… even if a huge robot constructed out of waffles tried to stop it… even if it drowned in the sea and a mermaid tried to steal it and trade it into a  scary sorceress for legs…. even if all those things happened simultaneously and it was stuck in a pile of glue… I still expect it to come to me so I can Make out with it ridiculously and immensely with all my make out might.

*It would be amazing to have birds on my face instead of eyes…. maybe lovebirds… or wait maybe baby owls….

*I truly believe that Pom Poms are essential to Life…

*If a leaf asked me to have babies with it … I’d be down…. so so so DOWN…

*If I could be any dog I would be a Husky with one purple eye and one yellow eye and my fur would have neon black  frosty tips…

*Why not incorporate more handlicking into life… Grab a bucket of Maple Syrup or Honey or Peanut Butter or Bacon Juice or Nuttella… Dip your hand in it and lick away…. Voila ! It’s like a lollipop without the stick…. with more licking surface area…

That’s all I got…. for now….. Have a magical weekend… xo

p.s the pic above is an invention called the hair noodle holder….  I think it’s amazing I want one so I could wear it on my deck smoke butts and drink vodka out of the bottle ….

I want to be an apple pear banana lemon cranberry muffin robot that eats all the baddies in the world and then spits them out transformed from my saliva into neon green and purple zebra headed penguins with dragonfly wings that can heal the universe with kisses that melt on top and spill all over in great gurgling gushes with swimming singing seahorses with painted lightning bolt bodies that glow and burst and rip through big giant leaves and do loops around clouds and give birds butterfly hugs and then swoop down and pat all the chickens on the back and then settle down for some tea and a good game of Jenga using fingers, earlobes and toes instead of boring wood pieces and then make some puppets out of popcorn and shoe polish and re-enact Romeo and Juliet and each puppet shall have an eye patch and instead of poison there is apple jacks and instead of eating them they are stuck up the puppets noses and then Romeo and Juliet go live in a hut made of raspberry tea bags and every time it rains they climb trees and try to catch the raspberry tea flavored drops ricocheting off their home….then they get lots of horses so that all they could see is horses everywhere and then they taught the horses how to dance and then they had a huge party with the dancing horses and made more popcorn and danced and danced and danced and ate popcorn and danced into the moon then onto the sun then on top of stars and then in the ocean and then on a cloud and they kept dancing and dancing and dancing until they couldn’t any more…..