Posts Tagged ‘puke’
If I was an itty bitty pancake….
….I’d love myself all the time….forever….
….I would run through prairies catching poppy petals in my mouth…
….I would serenade the sun and moon and try to woo them into having a threesome with me…
….I would look for friends to knit blankets with and then we would make a really large blanket that would cover all of us while we tickle each other till we die and then we would pretend I’m sleeping beauty and everyone would have to kiss me longingly until I come back alive…
….I would go to an orchard and dry hump all the apples…
….I would learn how to fart itty bitty heart shaped pancake farts that smell like fresh blueberry pie and then lie there and smell them all day…
…I would find another itty bitty pancake and kiss it until I sucked out all it’s being and it lay limply beside me…
…I would have maple syrup hot tub parties and invite all my fave super heroes and make them strip and watch them eat bacon till they puke…
…I would build a large castle made out cranberries and strawberry flavored glue and then get some chickens and build fires every night and wear cute little pancake rubber boots and eat paint and dance jigs and bob for beef jerky and try to grow a pancake tail…
…I would give birth to a pancake horse with long flowing hair and then ride over cliffs and jump really high and search for bears to hug…
…I would pretend to be a movie director and cast characters that look like pancakes and make them eat popcorn with chopsticks and see if they can blow saliva bubbles so big that would envelop all of us and float away and carry us all to a mountain made of dreams…
…I would teach pancake satisfaction workshops that would teach pancakes how to orgasm without touching themselves…
…I would randomly float up to others and lick their faces so lightly that they wouldn’t feel a thing…
…Lastly I would build a life size unicorn made of pancakes and we’d ride on top of ocean waves and feed pancake crumbs to the jellyfish and search for mermaids that could massage our little pancake feet and paint lightning bolts on our eyelids and teeth…
Dear Magic…will you gang bang the wind with me….
Dear Magic,
This might seem odd or maybe you get this all the time… but …. how do I say this….well I WANT you…. I want to eat you up I want to lick your face I want to steal you and never give you back…. I want to duct tape ourselves together…I want to chew gum with you and blow really big bubbles and have the bubbles conjoin and surround us and push us together so that we are a sticky mess of magicalness… I want to get braces and have you get braces so that when we kiss our braces intertwine and get stuck… I want to be in a band with you where we both are the lead singers but we have to stick our tongues down each others throats to hear ourselves sing… I want to fly away on a really large tambourine and find dinosaur bones with you so that we can build us a hut with them where we can paint ourselves and birdwatch of our deck…. I want you to love me and paint my toe nails with glittery gold nail polish…. I want you to stalk me wherever I go even in the bathroom when I’m going poo…I want you to violate me every second of every day of every week of every month of every year till I die…and even when I die I want you to violate me after I’m reincarnated into a red panda or an abandoned kitten… I want you to ride my bike with me and gangbang the wind with me…. I want you to make moccasins with me and twirl my hair….. I want to roll you up in a cloud and tie you up with lightning and coat you with bacon and eat you up…. and then I’d puke you up and we’d hug forever and ever and ever and then I’d give you my favorite horse with the braided hair and then we could go to the drive thru and eat burgers and rub ketchup all over each other and stick popcorn in our ears….. I know this might be overwhelming…. and I hope you understand that I’m not looking for a one – night stand … I want you forever and I’ll do ANYTHING for you…. Magic be Mine….. Love Me xo
