Posts Tagged ‘pancakes’
If I was an itty bitty pancake….
….I’d love myself all the time….forever….
….I would run through prairies catching poppy petals in my mouth…
….I would serenade the sun and moon and try to woo them into having a threesome with me…
….I would look for friends to knit blankets with and then we would make a really large blanket that would cover all of us while we tickle each other till we die and then we would pretend I’m sleeping beauty and everyone would have to kiss me longingly until I come back alive…
….I would go to an orchard and dry hump all the apples…
….I would learn how to fart itty bitty heart shaped pancake farts that smell like fresh blueberry pie and then lie there and smell them all day…
…I would find another itty bitty pancake and kiss it until I sucked out all it’s being and it lay limply beside me…
…I would have maple syrup hot tub parties and invite all my fave super heroes and make them strip and watch them eat bacon till they puke…
…I would build a large castle made out cranberries and strawberry flavored glue and then get some chickens and build fires every night and wear cute little pancake rubber boots and eat paint and dance jigs and bob for beef jerky and try to grow a pancake tail…
…I would give birth to a pancake horse with long flowing hair and then ride over cliffs and jump really high and search for bears to hug…
…I would pretend to be a movie director and cast characters that look like pancakes and make them eat popcorn with chopsticks and see if they can blow saliva bubbles so big that would envelop all of us and float away and carry us all to a mountain made of dreams…
…I would teach pancake satisfaction workshops that would teach pancakes how to orgasm without touching themselves…
…I would randomly float up to others and lick their faces so lightly that they wouldn’t feel a thing…
…Lastly I would build a life size unicorn made of pancakes and we’d ride on top of ocean waves and feed pancake crumbs to the jellyfish and search for mermaids that could massage our little pancake feet and paint lightning bolts on our eyelids and teeth…
10 Ways to remember to Love Yourself All The Time….
Yes I mean all the time…. when you’re busy…tired…sad…when it’ rainy or shady… when life is messy… or when you fuck up or are fucked up…and I mean the kind of love that envelops you inside and out… the kind of love that slaps you in the face hard & softly and makes you smile… the kind of love that makes you float and fly and squeezes you so tight that you almost can’t breathe…the kind of love that if you spin around really really really fast love spews out of you and sprays everything around and covers the universe with more love….
10 ways to remember to love yourself all the time …
1) Every time you see a cloud tell yourself that you love yourself ten times…
2) Draw hearts all over your body with a sharpie everyday…
3) Every day climb a tree and kiss you’re knees and hug yourself so tight that it kind of hurts…
4) Make all the food you eat shaped like a heart, heart shaped sandwiches, meatballs, pancakes, salami, chocolate, apples and so on….
5) Tell everything you see that you love it… like so… I love you tree… I love you cow… I love you swan… I love you blue rusted van…. I love you socks….I love you wind…. I love you snow….I love you pavement… I love you neighbor… I love you garbage… I love you fence….you get the idea right?
6) Every night cuddle with yourself forever and give yourself some love bites the pretty kind that are kind of pink and purply and glisten…
7) Write yourself love poems and hide them in your bag, in your mittens, in your fridge… or fold it up really tiny and stick it in the back of your teeth…. then find them and read them …. it’s romantic…
8 ) Every time you hug someone … hug them so so so hard … that in essence you’re hugging them and yourself together in a huge drippy hug sandwich of love that is exploding and seeping love into every pore of you and them…
9) Lick yourself a lot… that’s how wild animals show their love and we as humans need to adopt the licking attitude … cause licking = love…
10) Take your fave bevvy and from now on consider it your love serum… drink it all the time and every moment… pour it on your face and wash your clothes in it…fill your bathtub with it and then float in it….hook it up to a hose and set your sprinkler up to it then lie underneath it and soak it up and catch it in your mouth….let it run into your eyes and up your nose…. love serum will love you and you will love it and then …you will love you like you’ve never been loved before….
