Elizaveta Yankelovich

Wouldn’t life be so much better if everything we said was turned into a song…. like when I said to someone recently your chair is so comfortable… and they said …oh it’s the bum cushion… and then I sang bum cushion bum cushion bum cushion…. I dunno it just felt good….

*Sometimes I just wanna shove my face into Purple and get all purpley…

*I think every office should have a bob for apples pail set up by the water tank…. nothing big or fancy since it would have to be emptied and replenished for sanitary purposes… maybe you can get a fresh water filter… not infiltrator… filter… and why just limit oneself to apples … you can do snickers bars… pears… kumquats…

*I’d only consider getting an iPhone if :

a) It was completely indestructible … and i mean it… like if The Hulk was sleeping over and he rolled over on it and thought it was an attacking villainous  monster trying to kill us and he went all hulk on it and tried to destroy it with his big green amazing strength… I want that iPhone to stay alive.

b) If  it could do my laundry and dishes everyday.

c) If it would make out with me no matter what…. even if there was a fireball storm and it was half way across the universe and flying dragons were trying to stop it… even if a huge robot constructed out of waffles tried to stop it… even if it drowned in the sea and a mermaid tried to steal it and trade it into a  scary sorceress for legs…. even if all those things happened simultaneously and it was stuck in a pile of glue… I still expect it to come to me so I can Make out with it ridiculously and immensely with all my make out might.

*It would be amazing to have birds on my face instead of eyes…. maybe lovebirds… or wait maybe baby owls….

*I truly believe that Pom Poms are essential to Life…

*If a leaf asked me to have babies with it … I’d be down…. so so so DOWN…

*If I could be any dog I would be a Husky with one purple eye and one yellow eye and my fur would have neon black  frosty tips…

*Why not incorporate more handlicking into life… Grab a bucket of Maple Syrup or Honey or Peanut Butter or Bacon Juice or Nuttella… Dip your hand in it and lick away…. Voila ! It’s like a lollipop without the stick…. with more licking surface area…

That’s all I got…. for now….. Have a magical weekend… xo

p.s the pic above is an invention called the hair noodle holder….  I think it’s amazing I want one so I could wear it on my deck smoke butts and drink vodka out of the bottle ….

Disclaimer: This might seem weird to some….so if you’re reading this and you never considered cloning yourself so that you could make out with yourself then perhaps you might want to skip this post and try your damndest to find something less weird on my site…. p.s. you might have some difficulty….xo

So today I realized that I was constantly staring down at my boobs and it made me think about how I find myself super hot to the point where I was distracting myself from worky stuff…. and then I got to thinking wow ….what if I cloned myself ?…. this would be amazing right? Firstly I would already know so much about myself….I would know where I live, how I live, who is important, when my dog Thor needs to go pee and poo and when to feed my kid….. that kind of stuff….

So I decided that if I could I would clone myself and I’d name my clone Galactic Tiger and we would do things like find abandoned buildings and trace our body outlines on the brick walls and then make-out….we would go to grocery stores and fill up our carts with products that start with the Letter F then we’d go to the manager’s office and turn on the main intercom and make-out, then we’d go to Niagara Falls and ride the Maiden of the Mist and jump in the water and ride on the whales and then find an enclave behind the falls and re-enact that scene in Goonies where they make out in a cave under the rushing water…then we’d go into the jungle and look for fresh fruit growing on trees, eat it and rub it all over each other and and then climb into a palm tree and make-out….and then we would go to a factory that makes soap and jump into the big vat with all the sudsy bubbles and make-out….then we’d make lots and lots and lots of heart shaped grilled cheese sandwiches and jump on a jumbo jet and then go skydiving together while we make out and drop all our sandwiches over a soccer field full of hot guys and girls and then land on the field and lick everyone’s face off and then make out with all of them….then we’d get a huge box of wine and a slip n slide and pour the wine all over it and kill ourselves laughing and sliding and then make-out….then we’d make out some more  listening to this….. xoxoxoxox