Posts Tagged ‘kittens’
If I were a Leaf….
If I were a leaf…
~I’d whisper in the ears of caterpillars and say things like ” Ketchup chips are amazing when they are dipped in butterscotch!” & ” Kittens should do sit-ups everyday so that the stars stay in the sky!”…
~I’d paint myself with liquid paper and imagine that I’m a ghost and scare all the other leaves and make them pee…
~I’d eat raindrops and then spit them out and then catch my spit and make it rain again…
~I’d insist that the other leaves play footsie with me all the time until I was tired and fell asleep…
~I would eat lotion in the ocean…
~I would tease squirrels by throwing peanut butter flavored stink bombs at them…
~I’d lick a lot of stamps…
~I’d make a little shelter for myself made out of tea bags that smelled like bananas dipped in glue…
~I’d see how many pennies I could swallow…
~I’d try to kiss a Lion’s nose….
If I were a Leaf…
I have a secret magic rock in my pocket….
I have a secret magic rock in my pocket….
When I close my eyes it tickles the insides of my eyelids with it’s magicalness…we like to fly together on kites shaped like popcorn… we visit our friends that live in rose buds and drink horse tail tea together that makes us glow…we journey for miles to pick nuts off trees that makes my hair grow long and wild like a mermaid goddess living in an ocean of love…we collect golden doorknobs from golden houses and float them on clouds…we have meatball eating contests where the winner wins a life time supply of meatball trees… we travel to far places and nap on top of big furry dogs… we search for people and animals with the softest elbow insides…we lick bicycle tires… we bake hamster topped cupcakes…we hypnotize baby bunnies in watermelon fields… we steal bread crumbs in parks chew them up and feed them to baby birds…we draw on our faces with highlighters…we overdose on happy pills and puke happy puke on top of sadness…we snuggle cuddle inside tiger’s mouths…we help raccoons kidnap kittens…we shove patio lanterns down our pants… we wrap ourselves in plastic wrap and teddy bears…we make out with vacuum cleaners… we drink gasoline…we go to hardware stores and eat all their screws… we make popsicle necklaces that melt all over our bodies… we build forts out of label makers… and after all that we get really sleepy and find the nearest tree house and morph into ewoks and lay in our hammocks and dream about Hans Solo and Princess Leah kissing under smoked hickory sauce waterfalls… The end. xo
