Elizaveta Yankelovich

One Morning at 8:10 am an egg and a broccoli head danced out of city hall after getting married in a small ceremony with no guests. The egg was covered in tiny little flowers and the broccoli had a smart little feather handsomely poking out of his hair. They laced their fingers together and began their honeymoonday of love… humming and slowly strolling .. they bought a frozen yogurt machine and filled it up with helium and spit and tied a string to it and continued on their journey with the machine floating above them… then they went to a pet store and discreetly freed all the animals whilst pocketing all the hamsters for a later plan…. then they ran to the river and covered their eyes with leaves and twirled round and round while frogs sang ballads and turtles clipped their toenails to the beat…. then they lay together in the sun counting the clouds guessing which one is in love or not….then they released the hamsters from their pockets on lily pads after donning a new hat made of spicy french fries and rubber elastics on each one of their heads….then the day was ending and they calmly hugged and squeezed in the sunset… they gazed in eachother’s eyeballs and willed eachother’s eyelashes to grow super long….then they lay still and stared at the moon while psychically kissing and impregnating eachother. The end.

If I were a leaf…

~I’d whisper in the ears of caterpillars and say things like ” Ketchup chips are amazing when they are dipped in butterscotch!” & ” Kittens should do sit-ups everyday so that the stars stay in the sky!”…
~I’d paint myself with liquid paper and imagine that I’m a ghost and scare all the other leaves and make them pee…
~I’d eat raindrops and then spit them out and then catch my spit and make it rain again…
~I’d insist that the other leaves play footsie with me all the time until I was tired and fell asleep…
~I would eat lotion in the ocean…
~I would tease squirrels by throwing peanut butter flavored stink bombs at them…
~I’d lick a lot of stamps…
~I’d make a little shelter for myself made out of tea bags that smelled like bananas dipped in glue…
~I’d see how many pennies I could swallow…
~I’d try to kiss a Lion’s nose….

If I were a Leaf…