Elizaveta Yankelovich

There was a girl  by the name of Cinnamon that lived with a billy goat named Jamcakes…
They slept together in a bed made of discarded 80′s fluorescent sunglasses…
Jamcakes always liked to lick Cinnamon’s eyeballs while she slept…
Cinnamon liked the way Jamcakes licked her eyeballs and was convinced it fostered amazing dreams…
On Tuesdays they go hunting for aardvarks…
They don’t actually hunt them…but just pretend to hunt them…
And when they find an aardvark they quickly dress him up in winter clothes…
Like 4 mittens for his toes and a toque with a huge pom pom for his nose and earmuffs for his bum and brain and a faux fur scarf to wear on a train…
Cinnamon and Jamcakes also enjoyed staring at the moon…
They would stare for hours…
Then they both would do shots of wolf tears mixed with apple juice and coerce the moon to have sex with another moon…
And then they would coerce that moon to have sex with another moon different from the first moon….
Another little weird thing they did was pretend they were blood sucking bats but instead of blood sucking bats they actually were french kissing bats and they would run around the universe french kissing everyone and everything…
They would french kiss lotion bottles, and french kiss little babies when they yawned…
They french kissed catfish and glassware and wedding cakes and those socks with the separate toes…
They kissed coleslaw and starfish and little monkeys that scratched their bums on trees and plastic bags and used tin foil and roasted chicken and boxes of q-tips…
After all the french kissing they would get tired… they would crawl slowly home and take off their shoes, lassos and glow in the dark forehead bands and then they would snuggle up back in bed and shut their eyes and dream of all their past and future moments that are so momentous that they cross over and overlap on top of the present moments and the moments all caress each other and make purple paper cranes that soar above porcupines that smoke opium on top of forts made of those gelatinous balls in bubble tea…. The End xo

On a mountain made of green tea ice cream lived a little baby dog… his name was Thor Zorax Lightning… He shared his home with 5 little bunnies Garlic, Pistachio, Sunshine, Falcor and French Fry, two chickens Gloria and Estefan, and a horse named Optimus Prime… They all lived in a Tree house in a banana tree that grew elastic colored bananas that sang in the wind…. The Tree house was very large and very comfortable and was always filled with yummy treats… it had lickable walls that tasted like unicorn kisses and all the water from the taps was green tea flavored cause it was sourced from the mountain…

One day Thor decided he wanted to marry a cloud… but first he had to catch one’s attention…woo it … and make it fall in love with him …. so he sat with his friends and they put their cute little noggins together to plan the wooing of the cloud … Feeling confidant Thor began his wooing  … He got on the Tree House roof trampoline and jumped as high as he could …. every time he reached the cloud he kissed it full on the lips….jump…kiss….jump… kiss….jump …kiss…. then he lassoed the cloud with tied strips of bacon and nudged it into the alley behind the Tree House which he had covered in rose petals and sparkles and after a mad make out he handed the cloud a sparkler that could recite every single Rick Astley Lyric in existence even the unpublished ones…. then he took the cloud on a boat ride in a lagoon made of recycled tie dye condom balloons and gave her a massage and a piña colada and then braided her hair and nibbled her ear… Thor was so enamoured with the cloud… he couldn’t get enough… he built the cloud a tree house made out of clouds and he added some corn on the cob with a little ribbon of chocolate as an accent…. One night when they were both sitting on the Tree House veranda listening to The Fugees sipping on some gin ‘n juice eating cheese shaped hearts …Thor popped the question… he slipped a ring on the cloud that he had made with bubble gum bubbles with kisses inserted into the middle that popped in your face every few hours and then he would replace them with fresher kiss filled bubble gum bubbles…. The cloud smiled at Thor and popped a cheese heart in her mouth and then pulled it back out and revealed a cheese sculpture of two lions mating…. the rest is blissful history filled with love, baby Thorclouds and cheese… For the wedding the bunnies Garlic, Pistachio, Sunshine, Falcor and French Fry made sombreros out of their poo… that smelled like clovers … the chickens Gloria and Estefan laid eggs that could fly while they skipped double dutch in hot pants…. and Optimus Prime made the yummiest coleslaw that was so neon green that the whole universe could see a glowing mountain glowing glowingly in a neon green coleslaw kind of way…. The End xo