Archive for the ‘Random’ Category:
New Trend Alert: Food on Face
**note**
Don’t be sad that you didn’t think of this idea first, it’s not about that, you can totally own this trend, make it happen in your life. Cause let’s face it you need this, we need this, the universe needs this.
Why Food on Your Face is a Magnificent Idea.
1-The obvious first reason … Food on your face = immediate snacking fulfillment. Hungry? Hell swipe something off your face and pop it in your mouth. Yum. Right?
2- Sometimes you want to have a close friendly encounter with a wolf, bear, llama or _____ (fill in cute cuddly animal of your choice) … Well now easy peeeesy food on your face = instant animal attraction …
3- Art Inspired? Dudes the options are endless here… press your food laden face on anything… mirrors, trucks, trains, streetcars, garage doors, cement poles… whatever do it… make art with your face.
4- Have you ever felt violent? Like someone just pissed you off because they shoved a pregnant woman to get the last empty seat on the bus? well shit. Just take some food off your face and shove it in their eye. Pick something that stings for extra asshole effect.
5-This is for the chiquitas. Fuck Make up. Slap some club sammies and jelly on your face and you are good to go.
6- This is for the Mamacitas. You will ALWAYS have a snack for your kids. ALWAYS.
7-This is the last most ultimate reason why food on your face is the best idea EVER. Wearing food on your face is RAD. It’s Fucking AMAZING. Your life would be a 1 000 000 times better. DO it. Take pictures, roll down hills with it, run through fields with it, go bowling with it, steal ice cream from jerks with it, make out in barns with it….
Your welcome. xo
At 8:10 in the morning an egg and a broccoli head got married…
One Morning at 8:10 am an egg and a broccoli head danced out of city hall after getting married in a small ceremony with no guests. The egg was covered in tiny little flowers and the broccoli had a smart little feather handsomely poking out of his hair. They laced their fingers together and began their honeymoonday of love… humming and slowly strolling .. they bought a frozen yogurt machine and filled it up with helium and spit and tied a string to it and continued on their journey with the machine floating above them… then they went to a pet store and discreetly freed all the animals whilst pocketing all the hamsters for a later plan…. then they ran to the river and covered their eyes with leaves and twirled round and round while frogs sang ballads and turtles clipped their toenails to the beat…. then they lay together in the sun counting the clouds guessing which one is in love or not….then they released the hamsters from their pockets on lily pads after donning a new hat made of spicy french fries and rubber elastics on each one of their heads….then the day was ending and they calmly hugged and squeezed in the sunset… they gazed in eachother’s eyeballs and willed eachother’s eyelashes to grow super long….then they lay still and stared at the moon while psychically kissing and impregnating eachother. The end.
