Far away in a land that only had purple skies and a blue sun lived a little girl named Fantasia she lived by herself with a pony named BabyBell… Every night Fantasia and Babybell would fly around the universe and travel to far away places… they would break into convenience stores and steal slushies and ice cream cones….Fantasia also had this strange habit of stealing peoples eyeballs…. she would sneak up to people and animals and lull them to sleep with her slushie slurping and then she would slowly and carefully peel up their eyelids and steal one of their eyeballs…. the thing that was very neat was that their eyeball would grow back even more special…it would see more …feel more…. experience more…so it wasn’t a bad thing that she was an eyeball thief… it was just a weird thing… also as you can imagine she had collected many many many eyeballs…. big people eyeballs, little people eyeballs, tiger eyeballs, kitten eyeballs, wolf eyeballs….and many others…. in her tree house that had 33 rooms ….32 of them were filled with eyeballs…. rolling all over the floor….hanging off the ceiling….floating in the air….Even Babybell had eyeballs stored in her pony bags…. Fantasia also loved tying the eyeballs in her hair….She had many many many eyeballs in her hair…. She also did things like …. line up all the eyeballs to and from different parts of the universe…she’d line them up from mars to to the milky way and then to Italy and then she and Babybell would hop skip and jump on them laughing and slurping on italian slushies… she would glue the eyeballs to fruits and vegetables so that there were squash and pineapples with eyes…. she would give them to the polar bears who ate them like gobstoppers…. she also liked to stack them up on Babybells back and see how high she could get ‘em and then gleefully watched while Babybell did flips and the eyeballs scattered to the floor …. another thing Fantasia loved to do is get a large bag of french fries and she would stick all the fries into the ground and then tried to balance an eyeball on each one…. she also made eyeball wind chimes and eyeball quilts…. she made toe socks with eyeballs at the end of each toe…. she made pancakes with eyeballs ….and sometimes stuck eyeballs up her nose….. she made a necklace out of eyeballs for Babybell and she sacrificed eyeballs to the clouds so that they would sing to her….she glued eyeballs to the inside of her umbrella and regularly went to Dairy Queen and asked them to make her a blizzard cake with eyeballs…she went to electronic stores and stuck eyeballs in stereos and dvd players…she put eyeballs in peanut butter jars and mailed them to herself and santa clause…. she left them on church steps…she also played out scenes from Clone Wars where every character was an eyeball which got kind of confusing cause all the droids looked the same… and then one day when it was super hot and sweaty she was trying to steal an eyeball from a starfish….but what happened was super unusual…. as she was slurping her slushie trying to lull the starfish to sleep she reached for the eyeball and then all of a sudden she exploded and imploded at the same time and all that was left was a pile of eyeballs…. Babybell gasped and walked over to where Fantasia was just standing….and she leaned her head down and licked up the slushie that surrounded all the eyeballs and then Babybell lay down and cried…… she knew she would miss Fantasia with all her heart…..and eyeballs… the end xo
I’ll let you in on a little wee secret….but you can’t tell anyone especially the seahorses….. especially a particular seahorse that goes by the name of Harvey…. okay here it is…. First I love to ride my bike with my eyes closed…I don’t do it all the time but seriously it’s amazing you should try it… the other secret is that everyday when I ride home from work I have to go up the highest damn hill in the universe to get to my house and when I’m pumping up that hill I have a little poem/song I sing in my head and it goes like this…
jellyfish are making love, elephants are making love flowers are making love, bacon pies are making love, dragons are making love, dinosaurs are making love…..
another version goes a little like this….
caterpillars are making love, trees are making love, potato chips are making love, knee socks are making love, cracks in the pavement are making love…..
These little ditties get me up the hill…. and there are many variations….. so yes that’s my secret sharing for the day….
I also had some random thoughts cross my mind recently like….
* I wonder if this is what an owl feels like….
* It would pretty rad if you could stick things in your eye and just have them poking out….. like that pirate dude that had a fork sticking out of his eye in Pirates of The Caribbean…like you could stick a sparkler out of your eye and light it…. or french fries …yeah you could tape a bunch of them together and then stick ‘em in you eye and have them hovering over your face and lick ‘em or nibble on ‘em….. or you can stick a marker in your eye and walk around drawing on things and people’s faces… scribbling words like jimmerjash or Fuck life is tasty on everything…. but with your eye…. so awesome….
* Everyone absolutely everyone and everything should taste some sunshine every single day… taste it on your face…on your tongue…. on your lips….. on your teeth…. roll it around in your mouth…. imagine it’s a lollipop made of sweetness that lasts forever…
* Raisins are not just for kids….really they’re not….
* Pop-Tarts are amazing… I want to glue them to myself and to all the walls of my house… I want teeth made of pop-tarts…. I want pasties made of pop-tarts… I want my underwear to be made of pop-tarts…..I want my breath to smell like pop-tarts…. I wanna be able to blow my nose in a kleenex and open it up and see pop-tarts….
* I was thinking about how when unicorns are doing it they probably also have the same thoughts cross they’re mind as humans do… like hmmm i wonder if she’s into cheeseburgers …or hmmmm i hope he loves going down…. or hmmmm I wonder if she will let me do that thing with her butt……. unicorns …. hmmmmmmmmm…
* Taco Popsicles …. perhaps yummy…. oui!
That’s it …… for now…. xo