quite a long while ago… | 0 Comments

Oh My! Chicken Pie Mind Meanderings…

Wouldn’t life be so much better if everything we said was turned into a song…. like when I said to someone recently your chair is so comfortable… and they said …oh it’s the bum cushion… and then I sang bum cushion bum cushion bum cushion…. I dunno it just felt good….

*Sometimes I just wanna shove my face into Purple and get all purpley…

*I think every office should have a bob for apples pail set up by the water tank…. nothing big or fancy since it would have to be emptied and replenished for sanitary purposes… maybe you can get a fresh water filter… not infiltrator… filter… and why just limit oneself to apples … you can do snickers bars… pears… kumquats…

*I’d only consider getting an iPhone if :

a) It was completely indestructible … and i mean it… like if The Hulk was sleeping over and he rolled over on it and thought it was an attacking villainous  monster trying to kill us and he went all hulk on it and tried to destroy it with his big green amazing strength… I want that iPhone to stay alive.

b) If  it could do my laundry and dishes everyday.

c) If it would make out with me no matter what…. even if there was a fireball storm and it was half way across the universe and flying dragons were trying to stop it… even if a huge robot constructed out of waffles tried to stop it… even if it drowned in the sea and a mermaid tried to steal it and trade it into a  scary sorceress for legs…. even if all those things happened simultaneously and it was stuck in a pile of glue… I still expect it to come to me so I can Make out with it ridiculously and immensely with all my make out might.

*It would be amazing to have birds on my face instead of eyes…. maybe lovebirds… or wait maybe baby owls….

*I truly believe that Pom Poms are essential to Life…

*If a leaf asked me to have babies with it … I’d be down…. so so so DOWN…

*If I could be any dog I would be a Husky with one purple eye and one yellow eye and my fur would have neon black  frosty tips…

*Why not incorporate more handlicking into life… Grab a bucket of Maple Syrup or Honey or Peanut Butter or Bacon Juice or Nuttella… Dip your hand in it and lick away…. Voila ! It’s like a lollipop without the stick…. with more licking surface area…

That’s all I got…. for now….. Have a magical weekend… xo

p.s the pic above is an invention called the hair noodle holder….  I think it’s amazing I want one so I could wear it on my deck smoke butts and drink vodka out of the bottle ….

quite a long while ago… | 0 Comments

Eyeball Thief

Far away in a land that only had purple skies and a blue sun lived a little girl named Fantasia she lived by herself with a pony named BabyBell… Every night Fantasia and Babybell would fly around the universe and travel to far away places… they would break into convenience stores and steal slushies and ice cream cones….Fantasia also had this strange habit of stealing peoples eyeballs…. she would sneak up to people and animals and lull them to sleep with her slushie slurping and then she would slowly and carefully peel up their eyelids and steal one of their eyeballs…. the thing that was very neat was that their eyeball would grow back even more special…it would see more …feel more…. experience more…so it wasn’t a bad thing that she was an eyeball thief… it was just a weird thing… also as you can imagine she had collected many many many eyeballs…. big people eyeballs, little people eyeballs, tiger eyeballs, kitten eyeballs, wolf eyeballs….and many others…. in her tree house that had 33 rooms ….32 of them were filled with eyeballs…. rolling all over the floor….hanging off the ceiling….floating in the air….Even Babybell had eyeballs stored in her pony bags…. Fantasia also loved tying the eyeballs in her hair….She had many many many eyeballs in her hair…. She also did things like …. line up all the eyeballs to and from different parts of the universe…she’d line them up from mars to to the milky way  and then to Italy and then she and Babybell would hop skip and jump on them laughing and slurping on italian slushies… she would glue the eyeballs to fruits and vegetables so that there were squash and pineapples with eyes…. she would give them to the polar bears who ate them like gobstoppers…. she also liked to stack them up on Babybells back and see how high she could get ‘em and then gleefully watched while Babybell did flips and the eyeballs scattered to the floor …. another thing Fantasia loved to do is get a large bag of french fries and she would stick all the fries into the ground and then tried to balance an eyeball on each one…. she also made eyeball wind chimes and eyeball quilts…. she made toe socks with eyeballs at the end of each toe…. she made pancakes with eyeballs ….and sometimes stuck eyeballs up her nose….. she made a necklace out of eyeballs for Babybell and she sacrificed eyeballs to the clouds so that they would sing to her….she glued eyeballs to the inside of her umbrella and regularly went to Dairy Queen and asked them to make her a blizzard cake with eyeballs…she went to electronic stores and stuck eyeballs in stereos and dvd players…she put eyeballs in peanut butter jars and mailed them to herself and santa clause…. she left them on church steps…she also played out scenes from Clone Wars where every character was an eyeball which got kind of confusing cause all the droids looked the same… and then one day when it was super hot and sweaty she was trying to steal an eyeball from a starfish….but what happened was super unusual…. as she was slurping her slushie trying to lull the starfish to sleep she reached for the eyeball and then all of a sudden she exploded and imploded at the same time and all that was left was a pile of eyeballs…. Babybell gasped and walked over to where Fantasia was just standing….and she leaned her head down and licked up the slushie that surrounded all the eyeballs and then Babybell lay down and cried…… she knew she would miss Fantasia with all her heart…..and eyeballs… the end xo

Page 30 of 81« First...1020...2829303132...405060...Last »