If I lived in a Cloud…
I would make a cold cloud gazpacho and pour it over unsuspecting flying pandas…
I would play badminton with my best friend Monsieur Cloud Unicorn and make him lose every game…
I would coerce the sun and the moon to make a pornographic movie that I would film using a kaleidoscope…
I would throw parties that were exclusively for guests who could kiss for longer than an eternity and then brainwash them into thinking they were clouds and then never let them leave ever …
I would duct tape clouds together to make a giant sized dog that eats clouds and pees clouds and poos clouds…
I would chicken-nap chickens like a fox and then glue clouds to their faces…
I would cobble shoes and make underwear made out of clouds…
I would create a vodka that tastes like cloud, smells like cloud and turns you into a cloud…
I would design storage ottomans made out of cloud and trade them for kisses…
I would study and learn how to puke clouds on demand…
and then…
I would lick myself all over and roll around in my cloud and smother myself until I die and come back as a cloud.
There was a girl who lived in a burrito….
There was a girl who lived in a burrito.
Her name was Hot Sauce.
She sucked on life savers a lot.
She was working on making wings out of wet sticky life savers and leaves.
She wanted to fly far away.
One day as she was sucking on life savers she heard a rustling behind her.
She turned around and saw an animal lumbering towards her.
It seemed to be 1/4 penguin, 1/4 brontesauras, 1/4 snowflake and 1/4 goldfish.
She almost choked on her life saver and had to administer the heimlich maneuver on herself.
They gazed at each other for a split second and then the animal said to her,
” I could smell your life saver hot sauciness from my spaceship and I have come to tell you I must
now hug you to death. Now I know death sounds scary but getting hugged to death is the ultimate way to die. So don’t worry you burrito house dwelling spicy life saver
sucking cute little cutie. Now, get your ass over here.”
Hot Sauce sighed, winked and ran into his arms.
Then she swooned and died.
The End.
